Y'all, being a business owner isn't easy.

Do you ever feel like you are everywhere but nowhere all at the same time in life? I have started writing several blogs but just can’t finish them…  I have a million projects going on and once again, can’t finish them. I am in this weird place in life where I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t know what I want. But what I do know is, I am just all around BURNTOUT and tired.

Ya’ll, being a business owner is not for the faint of heart.

It is TOUGH. Being an Empath business owner is quite frankly Bullshit. (Sorry for the language). And you would think I would have figured this out years ago considering I’ve been in business for over 12 years. But NOPE, my big damn heart💗 keeps getting in the way and in the end, I am the one suffering. Honestly, it has made me someone that I don’t even know how to be or if I even want to be.

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2024 was a year of changes and growth. Some good, some I could have done without. I have fired some of my biggest clients, I have put up boundaries, and now, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I will share some of my biggest lessons of what NOT to do.

trust me when I say, save this and come back to it. It will save you so much stress.

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I made all the mistakes so you don’t have to.

Don’t do the following.

What not to do:

1: Business is business. I don’t care if you have been with this client since day 1 of your business. At the end of the day, yes, you may have become friends but if you are connected because you are working together it is a business relationship. And the second something starts to go bad in either one of your businesses, it will be affected.

Pro tip: Don’t work with friends. Don’t hire friends. It will ruin relationships. Trust me, I have lost several good friends trying to work together.

2: Do not and I repeat DO NOT let anyone go out of scope on their contact. If the contract states that payment is to be made within 10 days STICK TO THOSE TERMS. The second you bend the rules, they will continue to try and bend them. I am not just talking about payments, but anything in regards to what you are offering them. The contract is there for a reason.

3: Set clear boundaries about work times, especially if you are working from home. I cannot tell you how many times I have had clients calling and texting me from 6 am - 9 pm. If you are not in your office, you are not working. Period. There are a few ways to handle this when they do text/call before or after hours.

• Don’t respond until the next day.

• Respond saying you will get to it the next day, it is after business hours.

4. Build out processes especially as you are starting out. It is the last thing that seems important because you are a one man show. But before you know it, you are slammed, missing deadlines etc. and it is time to hire someone. But what do you give them as a document to follow when you don’t have anything other than what’s in your head?

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way and I am so very thankful for my employees who have helped and stuck by me and the craziness. In addition to the work, I also had to take extra time to write the processes and train them. It was a shit show.

5. Know your worth. Don’t let anyone take knowledge from you especially for free. You have a business because you are offering a service to someone who doesn’t have your knowledge. It is okay to charge for that service at whatever the going rate is! 

This also applies to knowing what you don’t know. Just because you are the business owner doesn’t mean you know every single aspect of it. I don’t know marketing. I mean if you are reading this then I did something right. But I am not going to continue doing it when my time is better spent in the areas I know.

6. To hire someone make a list of all of the things that you either don’t like doing, or aren’t good at. When you are making their job description use the list and that is what they will be doing. I have done this for the last several years when hiring employees and it has worked beautifully! Throughout the years, as some things get shifted around I will add responsibilities to my employees of things I still don’t like doing or I am not good at doing. I always admit to my them when they are better at something than I am. Which has helped with open communication and they are honest when they are doing tasks that they don’t like doing or even struggle with. It isn’t just about what I don’t like doing, if we can figure out a way to evenly divide the things that we struggle at or really don’t like we will all be happier and more efficient!

Team work makes the dream work!

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What to do:

I hope and pray you are not in the same place I am pulling myself out of. But if you are, it’s okay! As I said before, owning a business is hard. These are the natural cycles of business and I believe in these cycles is when we are able to fix what is broken or hasn’t been working.

I am not going to lie, all of the things mentioned about left me in a mental and financial bind. Before Thanksgiving, I did not want to do anything when it comes to my business and honestly, even thought about closing shop. BUT over the last couple of days I have focused on what I want for my business, side hustle, and overall life. My new handy dandy notebook and I have been turning some pages… The lists below I have been doing for business and personal:

• My Goals.

• What I want for 2025

• What my needs are

• What my wants are

• What went right in 2024

• What went wrong in 2024

• Things I need to change

Since then I feel a little better, not as burnout and almost revamped to get back into it. I am not feeling so scattered and I a little clear path as to what. All of my ideas, wants, wishes and dreams are written down and I have a map of how to get to the next chapter. I can go back and check things off as I get them completed.

I hope these tips save you heartache and stress if use them as a guide of what NOT TO DO. 

Please let me know if this was helpful or if there is any other things you’d like to chat about!

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Monthly Bookkeeping Habits to Set You Up for Year-Round Success

There are 42 days left until 2025! The new year is just around the corner

Have you starting planning your goals for 2025? As the year draws to a close with only 42 days left, and your business continues to grow what are you doing to prepare for the new year, and the growth? I have owned an accounting firm for over 14 years and here are some tips to prepare before the end of the year and into next year.

Get your notebook ready! I am about to share a whole bunch of information!

Reconcile your accounts every

single month.

The number one thing I always check first and is the most IMPORTANT thing in my opinion is to make sure that your accounts are reconciled. EVERY.SINGLE.MONTH.

Keeping your accounts in check is super important for your business's financial health. Basically, it's all about comparing your records with your bank statements or other service providers to spot any discrepancies and make sure everything's accurate. This not only helps you keep track of your cash flow but also catches errors or sneaky fraud early on. Regularly reconciling your accounts makes for better budgeting, smarter financial decisions, and peace of mind knowing your records are up-to-date and reliable. By setting aside time each month for this, you can keep your finances in order and plan confidently for the future. If there are any outstanding transactions that haven't cleared, figure out WHY. If you don't figure out why they haven't cleared and leave them outstanding there are several issues that will happen.

Here are a few reasons as to WHY they may not have cleared that month:

• You wrote a check in one month, but the recipient didn't cash it yet. When they cash it you would reconcile it in the month it cashed. Date the check for the date you wrote it. If it is outstanding for 1 month, that's okay!

• You sent a check to a contractor, but it hasn't cleared your bank. Usually after a few weeks of it not clearing I will reach out to them to see if they've received it.

These are potential issues that will come up if you don't reconcile the accounts.

• If you reached out to them and they did not receive it you will have to reissue the payment to them.

• They may hold it for several weeks. You forgot that the check was written. When they cash it, it can impact your cash flow or even overdraw your account which will incur extra fees for you AND the recipient.

• If the payment was never received, whether it was through a check or a credit card transaction. Your expenses will be inflated which will affect your net profit and make it lower than it really is.

• If it is a vendor you have to issue 1099's to at the end of the year then you could potentially issue the 1099 for the wrong amount, which means you'd also be giving the IRS incorrect information.

• There are a few more issues, but I will include them in another section.

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Not having vendor names for every transaction

This is probably more of a pet peeve of mine, but it is for good reason.

Have you ever wanted to see how much you’ve paid a vendor? Then you go into QBO, search the vendors name… and there are 2 transactions when you’ve paid them over 25 within the last year alone. Then you have to go and search through your transactions to find them which takes hours! Since you are reconciling your accounts, make sure and add those vendor names.

• Another reason, when you are trying to submit 1099s at the end of the year, without those vendor names you can once again issue the wrong amount to the IRS and vendor.

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Setting rules in QBO and forgetting about them.

I have such a love hate relationship with QBO. One of the reasons is they market that anyone can do it, set up rules and forget about it. They will automatically match transactions and blah blah blah…. And I am not knocking anyone who is trying! I am sure you are doing a great job and the best that you can. Like with this whole blog and marketing thing. I don’t know what the hell I am doing! Thanks to Pinterest and Google I am making a little headway! HOWEVER, if I mess up on my marketing I won’t get any followers and no one will see my post. If your accounting is messed up it could be absolutely detrimental to your business.

I like the rules in QBO sometimes. However, when I pick up a new client the very first thing I do is go into this area and turn off the rules immediately. I cannot tell you how many clean up jobs we have had to do because of the rules. Yes, they save time, but if you aren’t reconciling your account monthly and checking to make sure it didn’t glitch. Then it could be doing more harm that good. I have seen it glitch and all of a sudden categorize fuel purchase at Shell to income. WTH QBO!

Not to mention, we had to clean up one of our own clients books because the client re-linked their bank account and had been turning on rules. When she re-linked the account 2 years of transactions were automatically imported. I could go on for hours.

• If you are going to use rules - DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT create it where it automatically imports it into the register.

• If you are going to use rules - only use them to categorize the transactions, but you still accept them before they hit your register.

  • You are probably thinking - but this is going to take so much time. But it won’t. It will save you a ton of time and potentially thousands of dollars to clean up.

If you get nothing else from this post. Please take this advice.

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Last and final tip -

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not link your personal accounts in with your business accounts.

This is a HUGE no no! If you are using credit cards that are a mixture of business and personal I still say NO. NOOOOOOOOOO! This will cause more headache, confusion, and could cause very serious consequences both financially and legally. Here are some tips to get around it:

Debit: Office Supplies    Credit: Owners Contribution

Pro Tip: Once you enter your Journal Entry, go to your Profit and Loss, filter by the month you entered it and make sure it is correct. 

• If you are using a credit card that is a mixture of both personal and business then you want to create a journal entry for the items that are business expenses.

  • Example: I purchased ink and office supplies with my personal card. This is the entry to do to get it into your books as an expense. I will make a good ol fashioned T chart for you.

    • By doing it this way, it will add the expense and then show it as an Owner’s Contribution (you put money into the business).

    • Another major issue I have with adding personal accounts mixed in with business. It shows you have taken a lot more money OUT of the business than you actually did which could result in higher taxes and other issues. By doing this you will not get a clear or accurate picture of how your business is doing.

Which leads me to my last last final tip. How to pay yourself.

I mean we aren’t in business for ourselves to deal with the stress and not get paid. If you are not on payroll then you simply transfer or write yourself a check into your personal checking account and categorize it as an Owners Draw. That simple!

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I hope this information was helpful. As a reminder this information is for general educational purposes only. It is best to talk to a professional about your specific business and situation as every single one are different.

If you aren’t sure who to reach out to send me an email and we can jump on a consult call to discuss! I’d love to hear from you.

If you have any other questions or have specific topics you’d like for me to cover let me know as well!

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Life’s Unexpected Finds: Growing Through Uncertainty

I took this picture on an afternoon date with my husband on the water is always refreshing for the soul.

Have you ever wandered around Target, feeling lost, looking at everything and nothing at the same time, only to suddenly find the very thing you’ve been searching for all along? It’s there, all because someone didn’t put it back where it belonged. Life can be like that too. Sometimes, feeling lost or needing a change—whether it’s a new job, a new career, a new hairstyle, or moving to a new home or city—signals that something needs to change.

But what if we looked at it differently? What if those feelings of being lost, like wandering through Target, are actually moments of growth and change that you haven’t yet recognized? Life can feel chaotic and out of place during these times. However, this is often when we grow the most. By reflecting deeply on the changes within us, not necessarily good or bad, we might realize we’re on the brink of something new and unfamiliar—much like visiting a Target in a different city. It won’t be identical to what you know, but it will have familiar elements and new surprises, which might turn out to be even better.

Take a moment to step back and note a few changes in yourself over the past few months. They don’t need to be many.

Perhaps:
- Your goals have shifted
- You’ve stopped drinking
- You’re building a closer relationship with God

After jotting them down, let them sit for a day or so and reflect on them. You might just discover what you’ve been searching for all along.

Come back and let us know what you discovered about yourself. Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.

Business Strategies: Practical Advice for Entrepreneurs

The content of this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional before making any financial decisions. The advice provided is general in nature and should be tailored to your specific entity type and individual circumstances.

This post also include affiliate links.

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You did it! You came up with an idea and started your business. Whew... hard work done! Now sales are starting to come in, you are cranking out the much-desired product or service. Then one day, someone calls to see if their payment went through, or if they still owe you money. You start looking everywhere to find the information, but it is in that red notebook that is SOMEWHERE. Also in that red notebook are the receipts and tally of everything you have spent so far.. Now what?!

Lucky for you, my expertise in business and accounting far surpasses my skills in writing and design. As the proud owner of an accounting firm for over 14 years, I deeply love what I do. However, I craved a creative outlet, which led me here. The best tips are just a scroll away!

I will break down tips for service-based businesses vs. product-based businesses. A service-based business is one that provides services to customers rather than tangible products. These businesses focus on delivering value through their expertise, skills, and labor. Think of accountants, bookkeepers, consulting firms, freelancers for web-designers. A product-based business focuses on creating, producing, and selling tangible goods to customers. These businesses generate revenue by selling physical items that customers can see, touch, and use.

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Overall business tips...

• CREATE PROCESSES. I know when you are just starting out and a one person show that is the last thing you want to do or think is important. but I promise you... it will save you so much headache years down the road. I wish I would have done this from the beginning.

  • While creating these processes, keep in mind that they don't need to be elaborate. However, consider future needs as you develop them.

  • Your processes serve as a guide. They’re not set in stone but reflect how you want things done. As your business grows and evolves, these processes will too, and that's perfectly okay!

  • Setting these up from the start will ease the transition as you delegate tasks to employees and contractors.

• Establish a filing system that suits your needs. For example, you could create a main folder named "Receipts," and within it, organize subfolders by month or vendor. Additionally, consider having a dedicated folder for "Customers" or any other categories that make sense for your workflow. Find what works best for you!

• Develop a consistent naming system for all documents. I worked for a CPA over 10 years ago who was meticulous about file names. Initially, it felt cumbersome, but now, over a decade later, my employees use the same method. It simplifies finding documents. TRUST ME, it saves HOURS of searching.

• If you have a service-based business, track your time meticulously, even if it means switching between 10 clients a day. I cannot stress this enough. As you grow and take on new clients, tracking your time helps you price your services accurately. I've had clients in business for over 10 years who realized they needed to hire employees but, because they hadn't tracked their time, they had no clue whether they needed part-time, full-time, or specific types of staff, or what they could afford to pay them. We track our time daily. This time tracking directly influences payroll and client invoices. Additionally, I can conduct detailed analyses to determine which services are most profitable.

• Do not let all of your tasks live in your head, trust me, things will be forgotten. When you need to do something, put it in a task list. I am more of a paper and person kind of gal when it comes to this. As much as I love technology, I always go back to paper and pen. I created these templates to help keep track of everything I need to do. In addition, I created note pages that has been an absolute game changer when it comes to taking notes. Filling out the information at the top has helped me to stay organized and not lose notes. I don’t feel as scattered.

  • If you are interested in them send me a message and let me know you found them from this blog and I’ll give you a 50% discount.

Daily Task List & Notes: Stay Organized and On Top of Your To-Do List!

I struggled for years to try and keep track of all of the notes and clients tasks. I had notebooks everywhere, sticky notes everywhere so I created this and combined it all into what worked best for me. https://sinspiredmom.etsy.com

• Do I need a business bank account and credit card?

  Description text goes hThe answer is yes and no. This question depends on several factors, such as whether your company is a registered LLC or you're just starting the business and using your Social Security number. For the best advice, consult your CPA, tax professional, or business attorney, as requirements can vary by state. Here are some general tips:

  • Did you create an LLC? If the answer is yes, keep reading...

    • If you formed an LLC, then yes, you should open a separate business account to manage all business transactions. This means keeping all income and expenses in this account, separate from your personal finances.

    • Documents Needed: State requirements may vary, but you will likely need documents from your state and/or the IRS that prove ownership, the business name, address, etc.

  • Using a Social Security Number:

    • If you haven't created an LLC and are using your SSN, that's acceptable. Still, open a separate account (another personal account is fine) to keep business transactions separated from personal ones. This separation will make accounting much easier.

  • Credit Cards: Starting a business often requires extra capital. If personal credit cards are your only option to get started, it is okay use them. Ideally, designate one card solely for business purposes to simplify tracking. Documentation is vital as to what each purchase is for.

  Tip: If you formed an LLC but use a personal checking account, mixing personal and business transactions could pierce the corporate veil. This means if your business gets sued, you, as the owner, might not be protected and could be personally liable. For more information on this consult a business attorney in your state. This is a good article to learn a little more about it Business Transactions: Legal Consequences of Piercing the Corporate Veil - Attorney Aaron Hall

• How do I keep track of expenses?

  Description text goes Document, document, document. There are different ways to do this, and it really depends on what makes you comfortable and your how your systems are set up. It also depends on what type of business you have. If you are selling products then you will probably have significantly more purchases than someone with a service-based business. I always advise clients to create a folder to save receipts in. Dropbox, Doogle Drive, Onedrive etc. Whichever program you decide to use connect it to your phone so when you purchase something, office supplies, gas etc., you can snap a picture of your receipt and save it in your phone as back up.

  I mean, you can keep them in a shoe box, but come tax time it isn’t fun going through it all.

• Do I need accounting software?

  Well... this again depends on your business, the volume of transactions and even more complex reasons. Are you a service-based business or selling products?

  Let's start with service-based businesses.

  Most service-based businesses will submit invoices to their customers for payment. Which means you will have to create an invoice and then submit it to them for payment. There are instances where invoices will not have to be submitted but that's a whole other post. If you are submitting invoices there are so many templates that you can use to submit your invoices without any other software. And this could work! I would come up with the best system for you to do so. Here are some key points when using invoices.

  1. Keep your invoicing numbers consistent. It is so much easier to keep track of if it is in a consistent order.

  2. Whenever you receive a payment make sure to mark the invoice as paid. It can be as simple as typing paid with the date on the invoice.

  Service-based businesses are generally easier to keep track without the use of software because you do not have as many expenses, or sales taxes. Your time is your expense.

  Product-based businesses can sometimes be a little tricky for a few reasons. They have sales taxes which must be figured out and then remitted, figuring out the profit on each item, inventory etc. It is totally possible to do but for this type of business I would advise to get a program to help keep track of everything especially sales taxes.

  There are so many different software that you can use. Programs I am familiar with are:

  • Quickbooks

  • Zoho

  • Shopify

  • Etsy

  Using these programs will help you with tracking sales tax, and some of them will even remit the sales taxes for you.

  If you aren't ready for a program, you can definitely use excel or something like it to keep track of all of the things mentioned above. Since sales taxes are involved, this is one of the main reasons why I advise a program that will calculate sales taxes for you. Not to mention from time to time the rates will change and if you didn't realize it then the wrong amount of taxes will be collected which could cost you money.

  Reconcile your account every. single. month. Whether or not you are using a program it is still good to review all of the transactions. This helps to make sure you have received all of your payments, and that you aren’t double paying for things. Remember when we had the physical check registers and would write down every check that we wrote in the register book? Then each month look at our bank statement and check off every check that cleared. That is what you are doing. This is a HUGE step that people skip doing but it is one of the most IMPORTANT for many reasons. One of them being cash flow. Let’s say you paid something with a check and you look at your bank account and see you have xx amount of dollars. You pay a bill, but didn’t realize that check hadn’t cleared. Then the next day you get into your account to realize it has overdrawn or you are just short because you didn’t realize it hadn’t cleared so now the purchase you were going to make for supplies cannot be made. This is when businesses really start to struggle and lose site of their cashflow. goes here

• The most asked question... How do I pay myself?

  I hate saying this again.. but it really depends on how your business structure is set up.

  You do not have to process payroll or have a payroll company. You can simply transfer the funds from your business account to your personal account. This would be considered an owner's draw and would not be on your Profit and Loss, but instead it would be on your balance sheet.

  Remember: Do not use your business account for personal use.

  Short version: Profit and Loss is your income and expenses only. While paying yourself is technically an expense to the business, it would go on your balance sheet as an equity account. You own the business, it goes to your equity. (This is a whole other post as well about the differences and breakdowns of the 2).

I know this is a lot of information, and I hope this is helpful to you with your next steps in your business. You’ve got this! Don’t let this part of it stop you from growing, or even starting your business. The sky is the limit!

Keep checking back for more business tips and let me know if this was a helpful guide!

Did you know.. parental burnout is a thing?

Did you know… parental burnout is a thing? Because.. I had NO CLUE.

I know I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated… all the time. I had no clue it was actually a thing. It is comforting to know it isn’t just me going through it and I am not alone. I am writing to tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Our weekend was pretty quiet, which was nice. Well.. except for the Taylor Swift concert on Friday. Which was AH-MAZING, I'll go into this on another day. By Sunday afternoon, I was utterly exhausted. I sat down to start brainstorming ideas all up in my head, when one child who was supposed to be studying starts turning around and talking about random shit. The other is playing with his toys and all I hear is whoosh, pow, bam! My husband is frustrated because I just informed him that drumsticks are not actually ice cream, and apparently I ruined it for him. (sorry hunny). TV is blaring the same show I’ve seen 5,000 times. The dogs are crying wanting to go outside to find Peter Rabbit. AHHH!!! I pulled a hubby move, went to the bathroom for 20 minutes just to sit there.

Mind blown.. Parental burnout is a thing.

I knew about job burnout, taskmaster burnout.. but PARENTAL BURNOUT? I guess I am so shocked by it because I feel like talking about being a working mother (or father), who does everything is just supposed to be what we do, we aren’t supposed to complain. I thought we are supposed to do it with a smile on our face while cooking dinner (a homecooked dinner, not chicken nuggets, fries, and some apples) while simultaneously playing a game with our children. I guess I am so mind blown because there is a label for what so many of us are feeling but don’t want to talk about. But it is real. It is very real.

Between the school schedules, the extracurricular schedules, it is spirit week at school with a dress up day every single day. (Don’t you hate that, especially the no costumes, but instead dress in your favorite book character). Between all the Groupme’s going off… why am I in 15 groupme’s for my children, I am not their manager!? IT IS CONSTENT!

Sometimes, I just need quiet time….

Sometimes, I just need quiet. It has taken me a long time to accept this and be okay with it and realize it is a boundary needed for me. And to admit to my children when I need it because I am overwhelmed if effing hard. In the beginning when I would tell them I need quiet I am going in another room, I am overwhelmed. I felt like a failure. Then after a little while, I would just say I am going into my office, I need a few minutes of quiet because I am overwhelmed. I slowly started putting up those boundaries, and they would understand and let me have my quiet time until I was ready. I go in my office which is my space, to get the few minutes I needed so I didn’t explode and holler at them for the stupidest things. Then slowly, my kids would say I am overwhelmed I need a minute. They would go in their room and come out a few minutes later better and sometimes wanting to talk about what was going on.

I’ll never forget one morning we were going out of town, I was thinking about all the things I needed to do while on the way to school. My daughter (who is me made over) was asking a zillion questions. I grabbed a notebook, and told her to write down everything she wanted to ask and know about the trip. When she would get home from school, we would go through it and I would answer all of her questions. And we did. She was quietly writing down everything, then when it was time to drop her off, she handed me the notebook and said “here you go mom, can’t wait to talk about it this afternoon” with a big smile! I told my therapist I did that, and she looked at me in utter shock. She said that is brilliant and I wouldn’t have thought to do that!

Okay… parental burnout is a thing, now what?

I am in no way an expert at any of this nor am I perfect. I am just a mom and a wife who is trying to figure out this whole thing like everyone else and I thought I’d share some things I’ve personally done that have worked. With all of the added pressure to be a ‘perfect parent’, that will cause burnout in itself. As I’ve gotten older and as my kids have gotten older (they are 12 & 9) I have tried to be honest with them. I have tried to figure out ways that works for us as a family for communication, teaching them boundaries. Which is something I lack. I have apologized to them for the times I did loose my shit instead of taking a few minutes.

What I have noticed with trying different things:

• Being honest with them when I am overwhelmed was a game changer in our household. Even when I am overwhelmed - with them. - This one was the hardest one to do. To admit to my beautiful sweet children, you are overwhelming me. But this doesn’t have to be done harshly. Just by saying, I know you have a lot of awesome thoughts and I want to hear all of them, but I also have a lot of thoughts I am trying to get through. Can you give me a little while to finish and clear my head so you can have my full attention when you tell them to me? Go write them down so you can remember them.

  • I think by doing this, it helps them to understand you aren’t ignoring them, instead you are actually acknowledging them and want to give them the full attention they deserve. But just not right now in this moment. AND THAT IS OKAY!

• We started and stopped and started again, reading nightly devotionals as a family. Each night one of us would read the devotional and we would talk about it after and how it applied things that has happened in our family. We have ended several nights in tears good and bad. But it made us closer as a family.

• When my kids become extra needy, or fighting more than usual. It is because they aren’t getting enough one on one attention. Life is hard, it is busy, the amount of responsibilities we have as parents in today’s world isn’t easy. What is easy is to get lost in it. So, when my kids are fighting more than usual, or acting out. I try and take some extra time even if it is 5 minutes to spend with no distractions just our time.

  • I have found that when they are being mean to one another, or asking a zillion questions it is because they are trying to get our attention.

    • please don’t take this as my children or neglected or don’t get any attention.. because they do. Most of the time we are running one kid here, one kid there, so they aren’t getting the quality time with us as parents.

This last one was the absolute hardest one to do but the most rewarding.

• Dealing with burnout because of your childhood. I had a very hard childhood growing up, and as my daughter got older, I felt like I wasn’t the mother she deserved, there was something missing, blocking me. I knew something wasn’t right, and that something was me. I beat myself up over it for years. I started going to trauma therapy because I had figured out the only way to make sure my daughter had the relationship she deserved with me was to work on me. And woah! Within the first 15 minutes, she pinpointed what was going on, and why I was doing what I was doing. I was subconsciously putting a wall up as she got older, because that was the hardest parts of my life. It was a punch in the gut, and liberating all at the same time. It gave me joy to know the WHY behind it, and there is a reason as to why I felt like this. I did trauma therapy for a year and a half.. had to stop because of health reasons, but I will be going back.

  • What I learned and has forever changed my life is there is a reason why I have done (or not done) things.

    • She told me to go to the little me… pick one. See what she needs, and give her that. Give her the hug, the comfort, tell her you are there. You will never leave her and you’ve got her! We’ve made it this far and we will keep going. Go and visit her from time to time. When you do this a few times, it’s like something changes. You can break apart your adult feelings from the little girl (or boy) inside of you. You can comfort them, hug them, hold their hand and go to the park. And by doing this, giving the little girl inside of me what she needed allowed me to give my daughter what she needed.

  • This was very hard going through it. But ultimately it saved relationships around me. It allowed me to break generational cycles. It allowed me to heal, which in turn allowed me to start being a better mother to my children.

Well. That got deep quick.

Whoaaaa.. now I‘m tired. ha! If you’ve read this far and feel some of the same ways, I hope you now know you aren’t alone. There are so many women going through this and it seems it has been talked about more and more. But please please don’t give up. Don’t give up on yourself, on your relationships. Sometimes you just need to sit back and look around you. REALLY look around and see what triggers you and when. Then find out the WHY!

I hope you enjoyed this, and please let me know your thoughts and ways you have dealt with parent burnout.